No matter the question, the answer is always NO

If you don’t ask for what you want.

A little life lesson this week after finally getting up the nerve to ask a few well-known people I admire to help me change my financial ways. Of the three requests I’ve made this week, so far I’ve collected two YES’s and await word from a man called Bob. Who I’m sure will also reply in my favour.

I am reminded this morning of a piece of research Richard Wiseman conducted a few years back when trying to work out what makes people lucky. He found that four things made all the difference:

maximising chance

following hunches

expecting good things to happen and

turning misfortunate on its head.

* * *

Lots of factors drive each of these truths in the lives of very lucky (and unlucky) people, but one ingredient strikes me as the most important: conquering the fear of rejection.

No matter the question, the answer is always NO if you don’t ask for what you want. So even though I had reason to believe that world famous psychologists from Harvard and Cambridge might be too busy to check out Counting Zeros, I forced myself to go ahead and bother them with a request for their time anyway.

In exchange for pushing past my trepidation (oh, why oh why, is it so hard to ask for what you want?), here’s one of the happy replies I received:

Dear nathalie.
Thanks for telling me your story. I found it interesting to read your blog. I may not have time for an interview but I would be interested to read anything you want to send over by email that describes your experience. Or feel free to email me with any brief questions.
I hope you found the lecture of interest, all those years ago.
Best wishes, Simon Bc 

More to follow in future posts about my conversations (and emails) with brain experts and how what they’re learning might help me change my ways.

For now I must return to the duvet to nurse an extremely ill-timed bout of something either viral or bacterial. Perhaps a little nap might help me see the sliver lining to a pounding headache and a very delicate stomach.

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2 thoughts on “No matter the question, the answer is always NO

    1. This, I think, is rather a complicated subject — it amazes me how in so many walks of life overcoming a fear of NO, gets people all sorts of places

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