First of all, “no offence, but” is just like saying, “with all due respect,” or “I don’t like to complain, but” …
Which is to say, I am about to be offensive.
The Swiss. I find them dodgy. Because I don’t have any Swiss friends I get away with my half-joking, tiny bit serious suspicions about the Swiss. These suspicions are that the Swiss are not to be trusted and I base this accusation on 5 things which strike me as inter-related evidence of dodgy-ness:
Long-standing & extremely successful armed neutrality during the World Wars, despite being right smack in the middle of an intersection with Germany, France and Italy.
Extreme wealth and a totally secret banking industry
World-renowned chocolatiers who make sure they stay thin by exporting the vast majority of their chocolate
- Spooky tidyness and orderliness of mountain villages and country towns and entire cities (probably something to do with their excellence in clock-making)
- Inventors of the Swiss Army knife (and, OK, OK … The Red Cross … but still)
This pristine, control-freakery coupled with the hoarding of secret money while giving the rest of the world a sugar-rush suggests to me that we should all pay a lot more attention to the potential dangers of the ever-so-quiet Swiss.
I bring this up today because my assignment is to investigate offshore banking. I don’t actually think this has anything at all to do with Switzerland, but I know there are tax advantages to having offshore accounts and that they are harder to track down, so it reminds me of Swiss banking.
Also, it seems a little WEIRD to me that I got this assingment right after the tax card I pulled last week. Spooky…